This was a bit of a longer section as it was 2 full chapters (I will try my best to not yap too much). Also note that some of these are not in chronological order, but mainly organized by character.
The first chapter of this section is set back a few years. Before the last child (Hannah) was born. (Nathan was in 1st grade, and Lydia just started primary school). Marilyn became a stay-at-home mom, which was the opposite of what she wanted to be. Especially since these were her mother’s greatest desires. She tried to find a job but was not taken seriously because she is a woman – which reminder: this book was set in the 1970s, so things weren’t as equal.
The worst part, in my opinion, is that James discourages her from finding a job because of his own insecurities. He cares too much about his own reputation to even allow his wife to do what she wants. (Kind of reminds me of The Crucible where people care too much about their appearance than others). James completely disregards her wishes because “He knew what people would say: He couldn’t make enough – his wife had to hire herself out” (Ng 79). Absolute ick. We hate insecure partners. He should have supported her through her decisions at this time. Like, I understand why he would do this but also it was very unreasonable.
Another thing this chapter does is answer some of my questions from my first blog post when they talked about Marilyn’s disappearance. What I get is: that Marilyn’s mother passed away and she got a phone call about it. She wasn’t very sad (which is fair considering that her mother hadn’t been contacted for a few years, especially after being racist towards Marilyn’s husband (James) on their wedding day). She goes to her mother’s house to supposedly take heirlooms and clear out the house (which lasts like a week). She doesn’t find anything of value to her that is linked with good memories except a cookbook. This is ironic because it just sort of symbolizes falling into her mother’s desire for Marilyn to become a housewife. Something about this triggered something in Marilyn and caused her to break down – mainly over how unhappy she was that she couldn’t achieve her dreams of becoming a doctor. It even causes her to drive to a hospital, which leads to Marilyn meeting Jack’s mother – Janet Wolf.
This interaction with Janet gets her thinking about being a mother and also being a doctor. She plans to leave her family and go to college to finish her degree. I can’t imagine how terrible this must have been for her family. Especially since Lydia and Nathan were still very young and had to sit on the porch until James got back from work only to find a note left by Marilyn. I know she felt guilty, but I don’t think what she did was right at all. It kind of reminds me of a certain situation that happened a few years ago (that I cannot disclose about).
Meanwhile, I also get James’s perspective while Marilyn is cleaning out her mother’s house. He finds it a bit difficult to parent the kids without Marilyn. However, he manages to spend time with Nathan. (He left Lydia at their Neighbor’s house because she couldn’t swim yet). There are a few desires of his own that he projects onto Nathan. The idea of becoming popular and being athletic was a huge goal for James and was trying to force Nath to fit in that way rather than being seen as a “weird Asian kid”. Also, this is when Jack and Nath meet. (Jack is the suspicious guy that Nathan doesn’t like because Lydia would sneak out with him). James sees Jack as a ticket for Nath to be popular, but Nath ends up disliking Jack. This is because Jack was the only one who stayed in the pool during a game of Marco Polo with the other kids. Which to Nathan was an insult and an attempt to humiliate, but what I saw was that Jack was trying to be the only nice kid. The worst part was when the other kids called Nath a slur, James just watched his kid run off and cry. He didn’t even bother to comfort him because Nath reminded him of himself as a kid, part of him wanted to comfort, and part of him wanted to yell at him to toughen up. I wonder if this is when Lydia started becoming a favorite – because James thought that it was just her that could be popular.
The next chapter is back into the present. Where everyone is grieving Lydia still. However, there seems to be a consistent theme of avoiding sensitive topics in the household. Such as Marilyn’s disappearance, Lydia’s death, etc.
We do get a view into Hannah’s perspective. She’s angered at Lydia for passing away. She believes it was a suicide as she is an observant sibling. Her presence is rarely sensed, allowing her to listen and watch many things nobody else cares to notice. Which feels like the stereotypical middle child except this time she’s the youngest. Hannah plans to sneak out and take the same route her sister did on her last day. (I wasn’t sure if it meant she was planning on also dying or if she just wanted to see what happened). From what I have gotten, she was just trying to get close to her sister and try to retrace Lydia’s thought process during her very last moments.
Hannah sneaks out of the house very late at night and visits the lake they live near. She tries to reminisce about the good times at the lake (where Lydia was found), but things are different now. Her remembering was bittersweet because it shows that they weren’t a very connected family but still had good times. The lake that once was a highlight of the family’s life became a depressing area. A place they avoided. Hannah goes back inside afterward and sleeps in Lydia’s bed, wishing for her sister’s presence. (Mentally I cried at that because as an older sister, the thought of no longer being there and my siblings missing me would actually break my heart).
There is a transition into the next morning. The family is a little more tense because Hannah incidentally forgot to re-lock the door the night before, but James and Marilyn don’t know that because Hannah is invisible in the family. This causes an argument between James and Marilyn (and poor Hannah just listens and hides under the table because this is a new situation). Marilyn begins to blame and say that this is the reason Lydia is no longer with them – because she was kidnapped and drowned.
It makes me a little mad that Marilyn is so determined that Lydia did not commit suicide. Everything she says is always in defense of the idea of Lydia being a loser to society. She literally gives every excuse for being lonely, like academics. When the police asked about Lydia’s happiness, she jumped to the conclusion that Lydia was always happy and there was absolutely no reason her daughter would commit. I understand she doesn’t want to believe that her daughter would ever be in a terrible mental state, but she has to at least consider it an option. I wonder if the idea of that just brings guilt to herself, and she’s using the defense as a way to also defend her parenting. At the end though, she paces Lydia’s room and ends up finding a pack of cigars and contraceptives in a hidden backpack pocket. It brings her horror and more motivation to uncover the truth. I don’t think she will like the truth she is desperate to find.
James is still a scumbag in my opinion. I mean yes, Marilyn was in the wrong for calling him a stereotypical name during the fight. But James just left after that – talk about an avoidant personality. Not to mention he was starting to feel guilty about the affair, and the news coverage. But then he kind of stopped caring after the argument. I mean, I understand that the comment hurt him, but the fact that he immediately went to his affair partner’s house is terrible. He was planning on breaking it off with the affair but when he shows up at her house, he just says please. I dislike this man. In general, I dislike these parents.
Now onto Nathan, the poor kid is traumatized. While talking to the police, he feels guilty because he was planning on talking to her about college. He remembers being excited to talk about it, but Lydia just went upstairs to her room so he thought he would talk to her the next day. Sadly, there was no next day for Lydia, which makes him feel like he could have stopped her from committing if he had just talked to her.
In the end, the parents are fighting (one is uncovering harsh truths while the other runs away from his problems). Hannah and Nathan share a nice sibling bonding moment. It was really sweet because they are usually never super connected, and this was the closest they have been in a while. Just sitting next to each other silently in pain, but with each other. It’s a bittersweet way to end the section. I’m excited to see what happens next, what Marilyn uncovers, if anyone finds out about James’s affair, and how Hannah and Nathan cope.